That Tasuki Fic
by Shunyata Ryuen
Summary: After a long, arduous struggle in which I triiiied not to give anything away in this summary, methinks it is time. This fic is told from Tasuki's dirty-mouthed POV, begins in the episode said-bandit appears, and features Tasuki as a _____. --;;;
1. 1: Cover Those Things Up!

**Disclaimer:  **I do not own it, Sam I am.  I do not own green eggs and ham.  Or, ahhh, Fushigi Yuugi, either, as it happens. --;;

**Warnings:  **Beware of...  [1]  Lotsssssssa swearing, [2] Possible/Eventual/Who Knows? shounen ai, [3] Angst, and [4] unexpected gender pronouns. ^_~.  You'll also notice that I've taken some liberties with the dialogue we know and love, but since this is an AU fic, aaaanyway...well, I can do pretty much whatever I want, nyeh nyeh nyeh. ^_^.

**PS: ** Gomen ne about the title--it'll change once I get far enough into things to figure out what to change it to.  *firm nod*

---

**That Tasuki Fic**

by Ryuen

**Chapter One: **Cover Those Things Up!

~*~

"Oi, I wasn't fini--_WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU DOING_??"

I ripped outta the girl's grasp, tugging the neckline of my shirt back up, and spent a long minute struggling to keep my temper.  Of course, I usually had a lot tighter grip on it than I let people think, but shit, what the hell was she thinkin'??  

The girl held up a hand, smiling so wide that her eyes got all scrunched up on her face, and I wondered for a second how the hell she could even _see_ anything like that.  "Gomen, gomen.  I thought you might be one of the Suzaku shichiseishi!  I didn't tell you, but I'm Suzaku no Miko!  Ne, you don't have any weird characters on your body anywhere, do you??"  
  


What the fuck?  Why would she even think that I might...

"How the hell should I know?" I bellowed, hoping maybe the added volume might scare her into shutting up.  Of course, from what I'd seen of the girl so far, I doubted it, but hey, it was worth a try, right?  Fucking women.  Gah.  

I'd just got the rest of the buttons on my tunic fastened (_must be losing my touch, almost giving it all away like that_) and was wondering if maybe I should tie her up and stick a gag in her mouth when something thudded into the door.  O'course, I knew who it was right away--who else knew about this place and would bother to knock?  But, any doubts I had went flying out the window with Kouji's usual, ahh, casual hint to let him in.  

"Konbanwa!  Who's there?  It's Genrou's best buddy, Kouji, here to see him!  You're welcome!  Please come in!"  The door slid open, and Kouji peeked in.  "Arrigattttttttto."  

Guess he thought it was funny, or somethin'.  He'd been doin' it since we were fourteen-years-old, for gods' sakes.  But, hey, best friends'll be morons, sometimes...  Weirdo that he was, though, I was still glad as hell to see him again.  I had to admit, things got pretty lonely on the road without Kouji around.

"Kouji!"   I sprang up, tucked my arm into his, and then we were spinnin' around like we always did, shouting out our usual, "Long time no see!  Whatcha been up to?" etc., etc., etc.  The Suzako no Miko girl was looking at us kinda weird by the time we finished, but, eh, what the hell.  Some things are important enough to embarrass yourself over.

"So, what the hell, Genrou?" Kouji said once we'd stopped spinning, stickin' his hands on his hips like a damn worried mother or somethin'.  "You show up, grab the girl, and don't even stop to say 'hi' to me?  Thought you fuckin' forgot me, or somethin'!"  
  


I grinned.  "Forget you?  Like hell!"  
  


He leaned forward a little, then glanced at the girl.  "Hey, but I'm gladja showed up when ya did.  Eiken was really startin' to piss me off, ya know?  And, all those girls...  Shit, Genrou.  Like havin' a fuckin' brothel in the place or somethin'."  He grinned.  "But, hey, now that you're back and all, I guess we can kiss all that shit goodbye, right?"

Brothel?  I felt my face gettin' red.  Damn Eiken!  What the fuck did he think, the Mt. Reikaku bandits were around just to bring him more girls to put his filthy hands on?  Gaaaah!  Fuckin' nasty guy!    
  


"Yeah," I said finally, pounding a fist down onto my palm.  I flashed Kouji a fanged grin.  "By the time I'm done with 'im, he'll have to think up somethin' else to do with his time, y'know?"  
  


Kouji clapped a hand onto my shoulder, wagged his head up and down.  "Yeah!  That'll teach 'im for takin' over while you were away!  Shit, Genrou, you know Kashira never woulda wanted that slimeball in charge o'the bandits stedda you."  
  


I don't know how, since she had such a damned big mouth, but somehow, I'd forgotten about the girl.  She was still sittin' there on the floor, staring up at us like we were nuts or somethin', but when Kouji said that...  She jumped up, stared at us with wide eyes--and I _really_ didn't like the look on her face.  "Huh?  You were supposed to be the leader?"

_Oh, what now...?_

Kouji nodded at her.  "Sort of."  His eyes flicked over to me.  "When the leader died a month ago, Eiken took over 'cause you weren't around, Genrou."  He closed his eyes.  "Kashira worried about you a lot, before he died.  He knew Eiken'd try somethin' like this.  But, what could he do, ya know?"  
  


That awful sick feeling started in my stomach again.  "Kashira..." I whispered.  

It was weird, thinkin' about him and knowing that he was dead.  I mean, it wasn't like I was gonna bawl my eyes out or somethin' now that he was gone, but growing up, me and Kouji--he was like a dad to us.  A swearing, stealing dad with one hell of a sword arm--but still a dad.  I was gonna miss him.  But, hey, life goes on, right?  
  


_Not for him, it doesn't._

I scowled.  _Damn it, shut the hell up.  There's more important stuff to do now, ya know?_

I was just starting to realize that I'd been quiet for too long when, suddenly, that weird damned girl was jumpin' up and down, grabbing onto my sleeve like a fuckin' two-year-old or somethin'.

"I'll help you, I'll help you!" she squeaked.  

Kouji and me stared at her.  She didn't just--  "Wha?"  
  


The girl only ripped at my sleeve harder.  I hoped she wasn't thinkin' about tryin' to get my shirt off, again, 'cause that sure as _hell_ wasn't happening...

"I'll help you!" she repeated in that same high, ear-piercing squeak.  "You've _got_ to get the position!  So, I'll help you get it!"  
  


"Now, wait just a damn s--"  
  


"Iie, iie, don't mention it!  I'm glad to help!  Ne, but when you _do _become leader, you'll help me find Tasuki, won't you?  Pleeeeease?"

I blinked.  How the hell did she know??  'Course, it coulda been I was the only seishi they hadn't gotten yet, and so that was the only reason she knew she was lookin' for Tasuki...but, what the hell were the chances?  "Maybe," I grumbled.

"Yattaaaa!!" she squealed.  "Genrou!  Kouji!  Let's go!"  
  


And then, shit, she was out the door.  Somethin' bumped into my side a second later--I turned around and saw Kouji standin' there, frowning after her.  "She doesn't get that she's a hostage, does she?"  
  


I sighed.  "Seems that way.  But, hey, no harm done.  At least she's helpin' out."  I shook my head, gave him a little half-smile.  "Fuckin' women.  I think I hate 'em more everyday."  
  


Kouji winked at me.  "Yeah.  Too bad ya _are_ one."  
  


"Ehhh, shaddap!  I'm moruvva fuckin' guy than you are."  
  


"Got the mouth'a one, anyway."  
  


I slid my jacket on over my shirt, glaring at him while I slipped my arms in through the holes.  "Yeah, well that's all that fuckin' matters around here.  Now, c'mon, let's get out there before she gets the bright idea to escape, huh?"

"Eh, she won't do that, Genrou."  
  


We started walking for the door.  "Why d'ya say that?"

Kouji flashed me a grin.  "'Cause.  She's Suzaku no Miko and you're fuckin' _Tasuki_.  Ya think she's just gonna turn and run without tryin' to pull ya along with her?"  
  


I scowled.  "I'm not goin' with her.  After Eiken's outta the way, the guys're gonna need me."

"You sure?  I mean, hell, Genrou, it ain't like you couldn't come _back_ after."  
  


We stepped out onto the porch.  The girl was down at the end of the road, bouncing up and down and motioning for us to come closer.  We'd be in her hearing range in just a minute, but...

"Shit, Kouji," I said with a grin.  "You're just scared as hell to have a girl givin' ya orders, aren'tcha?"  
  


Kouji rolled his eyes.  "Fuckin' women."

~*~*~

"Y'know," Kouji said slowly, "I never thought I'd say this, but it's a damn good thing that girl and her friends were here."  
  


I was sitting on the edge of my bed (my new, huge, comfortable bed that Eiken'd got all stunk up, the filthy bastard), massaging my foot between my hands.  Stupid boots weren't broken in, yet, even after all this walkin' time...  "Ahh, shut the hell up," I growled, "it wasn't her.  I coulda taken Eiken if I had to."

Kouji, who was all curled up like some reject puppy or somethin' on the couch, raised an eyebrow.  And, was it my imagination, or was he tryin' not to look me in the eye?  "I guess so," he said.  "But..."  He frowned.

Annnnd, I frowned, too.  "What?"  I planted my bare feet on the carpet, leaned forward and thudded my elbows down onto my knees.  "What's goin' on?"  
  


It'd been awhile since I'd seen Kouji blush.  And, yup, he was definitely not looking me in the eye.  "Well, ahhh...it's just that...well, since you're back, now, I...I thought..."  He broke off, glared at me angrily.  "Aw, shit, Genrou, why'd ya have to be a fuckin' girl?"

What the _hell_?  

I sat up a little, stuck my hands on the bed behind me to prop myself up.  As I moved, though, somethin' caught my eye.  It was the mirror, this big fancy half-circle over the desk, and even though it was way on the other side o'the room, I could see myself in it, clear as fuckin' daylight.  I shivered.

I mean, shit, it was just Kouji, and it was hot in here!  And, those bandages cut like a damn knife against my chest, and were uncomfortable as hell--  The girl in the mirror, who didn't look like me at all with her chest stickin' up through a white tanktop, gave a sigh and slumped.  Orange clumps of hair fell down in her eyes, covered the blush that was coming over her cheeks.

"Shit, man," I whispered.  My voice sounded weak, and I hated it.  "Not fuckin' _you_, Kouji.  C'mon.  We've been friends since we were kids."  
  


Kouji suddenly stood up and stalked over to the window, jammed his hands down on the sill and stared outside.  His voice was thin and wavery, and much as I hated to admit it, it scared me, hearin' that waver in his voice.  "You think I planned this?  I mean, I know we said that we'd never...  But, shit, I can't help it.  I--"  His head drooped, and his next words came out in a clenched little bullet of shame.  "I guess I never figured it out until you went away, and then it was all I could think about."  He squeezed his eyes shut.  "Fuck, I'm sorry, Genrou.  I'm a selfish bastard, aren't I?"

My mouth felt like ash.  "Why?"  I wanted to swear, to hit something, to feel like myself again--but, all I could do was sit there like a moron and watch my best friend talk like he was having his damn lungs ripped out.

"Because," Kouji said, "fuckin' think about it for a minute.  You're the leader, now.  Either you'd be a girl or we'd both be okama, ya know?"  
  


I closed my eyes.  He was right, of course.  And, shit, it wasn't like I _wanted_ to have some kind of a relationship with him--_Kouji!  Fuckin' KOUJI!_--but, I'd never heard him talking like this before.  I mean, after it all came out about me, we talked about stuff--it was a long time ago, but I know we talked about this in there somewhere.  And, I know we both agreed, "Hell, no, never ever.  No matter what."  Where the hell was that, now?  And, what'd he mean, he didn't plan this?  Like that was some big fuckin' comfort?

"Kouji," I sighed, "you've been my best friend since we were fuckin' _eleven_.  Why the hell'd'ya wanna change things now?"  
  


He sighed, too, and when he turned around, he was just Kouji again.  "I guess I don't.  Shit, I'm just tired.  And, I guess with you comin' back again all of a sudden, beatin' the hell outta Eiken and stuff...ehh, I dunno."  He smiled a little, wagged a finger at my chest.  "Look, just stick that fuckin' bandage back over those things and everything'll be easier, 'kay?"

I was just opening up my mouth to answer when something rapped against the door--and then, a second later, the doorknob started to turn.  I sat up straight, my eyes going wide, and stared at Kouji in the closest thing to blank terror I'd felt for awhile.

"Shit!" he hissed.  "Cover those things up!"

I thought for a half a second--no time to put the bandages back on, no time to get my jacket on...  I vaulted over the side of the bed, scrambled to the headboard, and slid under the covers just as the door inched open, and one of the seishi--that purple-haired girl dressed in guys' clothes--stuck her head in.  I couldn't think of her name, but that was okay.  Somethin' about her seemed kinda...weird, anyway.  Well, fuck, not that I was one to talk.  But, still.  

She stepped inside, grinning widely but looking a little embarrassed.  "Neee, sorry to bother you.  Demo, do you have any soap?"  
  


I frowned.  "Soap?"  _Women..._

Purple-Haired Seishi Girl put a hand to her cheek, gave a little sigh that might've been cute if I hadn't been busy pressing blankets up against my chest.  "Hai.  Hotohori-sama needs it to wash the dirt out of his hair."  
  


Kouji shot me a little half-grin, but when he turned back to her, he was frowning.  "Shit, you think this is some high-class inn or somethin'?  Want Genrou and me to come fluff your fuckin' pillows for ya?"

Nuriko--whose name I'd just remembered--lifted her eyebrows.  "So, that's a 'no,' then?"

"Fuckin' women!" Kouji growled.  He stomped over to the door to the bathroom, ripped it open, and went inside--a couple seconds later, we heard him clattering around in there, prob'ley lookin' for the goddamn soap, knowing him.  Fuckin' high-class gentleman...  

While he was in there, I took the chance to give Nuriko a quick once-over.  She was pretty, that was for sure, with that silky purple hair and that little mole under her eye--and from the way she hung on that Hotohori guy, I guessed they were either an item or close to it.  But, what the hell was with all that "-sama" crap?  Shit, I hoped she wasn't one of those let's-be-timid-and-servile-to-men girls, especially if I ever ended up tagging along with the seishi on whatever the hell kinda quest they got into...

"Neeee...  Genrou?"  
  


I blinked.  _Starin' off into fuckin' space again..._  "Huh?  What?"  
  


"Ano..."  She lifted an eyebrow.  "I don't know how to tell you this, but, ahhh..."  She pointed a finger at me.  Or, more specifically, at my chest.  

I looked down, and--

"_SHIT!  SHIT SHIT SHIT!   SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!"  
  
_

Kouji burst outta the bathroom, holding a bar of soap over his head like some kinda club or somethin', and almost tripped over the edge of the couch.  "What!?" he demanded, glancing between Nuriko and me with wide eyes.  "What happened?"

"I just fucked everything up, that's what!" I bellowed, gesturing to my chest where--_damn it damn it damn it_--the blankets had slipped down _juuuuust_ far enough while I was lost in thought to give Nuriko a pretty good idea as to what was under there.  "Shit," I swore again. "Shit, shit, shit."  
  


Nuriko's eyes were, ahh, kinda wide.  She held up her hands, palm-outward.  "Ne, calm down.  It's okay."  
  


I sighed, slammed a hand into my forehead.  _Baka-baka-baka..._ "And, how the _fuck_ is it okay?"

Nuriko just smiled, undid the buttons of her tunic, and--before I could stop gaping long enough to tell her to stop--let it drop down onto the floor.  I heard a muffled thud a second later--the soap had dropped outta Kouji's fingers, I figured--but, I couldn't tear my eyes away long enough to check it out.

"You're a...a...a..."  
  


"Guy," Kouji breathed.  

Nuriko nodded, his left eye dipping in a wink.  "Hai.  And, you're a--"  
  


"Girl," Kouji supplied again.

"Well," I muttered, "ain't this a fuckin' coincidence."

---   
AN:  End chapter onnnnnnnnne.  ^_~.  Arrigato to Kokkei-channnn for reading over the beginning of this and imparting her wisdom ("Too much angst??  LIFE is angst, damn it!") to me.  Also, thanks to Random Bursts of Artistic Inspiration, which visited me last night in the form of a female-Tasuki sketch, which--in turn--brought this little ficcie into being. ^_~.  Anyway, let me know what you think.  Writing Tasuki is a, uhhh, trying experience, to say the least.  I don't typically swear all that much in casual conversation, but after writing him for a few hours...well, let's just say there was a lot of self-restraint involved. --;;  Aaaaaaanyway.  More will follow soon, hopefully.  Ta-taaaa... ~Ryuen

GLOSSARY:  _kashira_:  leader; boss  |   _okama_:  homosexual  |  _f*ck_:  a word used 29 times in this chapter. -_-;;;; Ehehe, gomen ne. ^_~.


	2. 2: Goopy Stuff, Best Friends, and Choic...

**That Tasuki Fic**

Chapter 2:  Goopy Stuff, Best Friends, and Choices

~*~

"So, whaddya think, Genrou?  Ya think sh--err, he's gonna tell anybody?"

I sighed, thumped down onto my back on the grass and stared up at the sky.  It was almost dawn, so the stars were startin' to fade away, but I could still pick out the constellations--at least, the important ones.  And, ya know, it was weird, looking up there.  Not to sound all gushy or anything, but starin' at the stars, watching the little pricks of light wink out against the dawn, it seemed almost like I could see myself up there, like maybe the sky was nothin' more than just some big, spotty mirror, reflecting life as it was and as it could be.  Jinsei no kagami...  

I sighed, slapped a hand over my eyes and shook my head.

_Stop talkin' like a fuckin' girl, goddamn it.  You got better things to do than gettin' all goopy about stars and shit._

A second later, I remembered that--while I was layin' here getting gushy--Kouji was prob'ley waiting for me to say something, so I peeled the hand off my face and opened my eyes and spent a minute focusin' on stuff--my voice, my thoughts, my attitude...  Shit, I didn't spend fuckin' eight years training myself to be the way I was to drop it all, now, even if somebody else _did_ know about me.  Nod.  Damn right.

"Who fuckin' knows," I said finally.  "It's not like I know 'im or somethin'."  I shifted, folded my arms over my chest even though it was kinda hard to do lying down.  "Anyway, who cares if he says somethin'?  It's not like he doesn't have his own fuckin' secrets to hide."

Kouji stared at me for a minute, frowning a little, then shrugged and lay down beside me on the ground.  We laid there not talking for a couple minutes, starin' up at the sky (it was just starting to get a little pink at the edges--not that I fuckin' _cared_ or anything, but hey, I mean, it was hard not to notice, right?  I mean, it wasn't like I fuckin' thought it was fuckin' _pretty_ or somethin'), before either of us said anything else.  And, then, I heard Kouji suck in a deep breath, let it out real slow like he was tryin' to see how long he could do it or somethin'.

"I don't think he's gonna say anything," he said slowly.  "He's a seishi, Genrou.  And...and, he's like you.  In fuckin' more ways than one."

Damn it, I hated it when he got serious!  Fuckin' threw all my rhythm off...

"Eh, whatever," I muttered irritably.  "Anyway, in a coupl'a hours, the three of 'em'll be _gone_, and things can get back to normal."  _Whatever the hell that is, anyway._

"You sure that's what you want?"

I sat up suddenly, twisted at the waist and stared down at him.  "Whaddya mean?"

Kouji didn't look at me.  He just laid there, starin' up at the sky, and spoke so soft I almost couldn't hear 'im.  "Bein' a seishi isn't somethin' you just decide to do, Genrou.  It's...it's somethin' ya are.  You're a bandit, now, yeah--but, you were a seishi first.  You'll _always_ be a seishi first.  You sure you just wanna throw that away for somethin' like this?"

I scowled.  "I'm not throwin' anything away!  I'm makin' a choice, o-fuckin-kay?  Geez.  Ya tryin' ta get rid o'me or somethin'?"

"Get rid of ya?  Of course not!  Look, all I'm sayin' is that if I were you, I'd be thinkin' about what I was gonna miss out on if I stayed here an' took care-uvva buncha bandits when I could be off with fuckin' Suzako no Miko doin' more important things."

"Yeah, well."  I crawled to feet, brushed a little violently at the dirt on my pants.  "Good thing you're not me.  I'm goin' inside.  See ya later."

I was all ready to go stomping back inside, find somethin' to punch at until I felt better, but then there was a hand on my arm and Kouji was standin' beside me and I had to stop.  Hell, it's not like I wanted to, or like I cared what the fuck he had to say, but...I don't know.  There's somethin' about the first person ya ever trusted that makes you listen to what they say, even when you think they're damned wrong.  So, I stopped, crossed my arms over my chest, and waited for Kouji to say somethin' worth listening to.

His voice was pretty quiet, but since he was standing right off my left shoulder, it wasn't hard to hear 'im.  "Okay," he said, "so it'd be easier on me if ya went away.  I'd be in charge o'the bandits, too, which's somethin' I sure as hell wouldn't mind.  But, shit, Genrou, that's not why I wantcha to go!  An', I...I _don't_ wantcha to go, not really.  You've been away for so long, anyway, an' I've..."  He mumbled out something that sounded a lot like "missed you," but who the hell knew...  

"Anyway," he went on, "you're my fuckin' best friend, y'know?  O'course I wantcha around, even if I hafta keep makin' myself forget that you're a girl--which isn't all that hard when ya act like such an asshole all the time, anyway.  But, I guess it's also 'cause you're my best friend that I gotta think about what you stayin' around here'll mean.  I mean, why'd ya leave here in the first place, anyway?  It wasn't 'cause things're so damned exciting here, that's for sure.  Shit, it's great bein' a bandit, but you've _done_ it already.  You've been a bandit for a long time, and I can fuckin' tell, you're gettin' bored with it.  Bein' the leader, it'll throw some extra stuff into it, make it interesting for awhile, but shit, man, you know that's not gonna last.  You want somethin' more, I know ya do."  Kouji's voice dropped, and I felt one of his fingers jab into my ribs.  "It's fuckin _inside_ of you, Genrou.  You want somethin' more.  That goofy girl an' her friends can give that to ya.  I can't."

It was like I couldn't breathe for a minute.

Shit, when'd Kouji get so fuckin' good at readin' me??  And, daaaaaaamn, how'd he seen all that before I did?  

_Because, idiot, _something inside of me growled, _you've been so fuckin' busy pretending to be somethin' you're not that you're _used_ to ignoring all the other stuff goin' on inside of you._

_Eh, shaddup,_ I snarled back.  _I feel what I fuckin' _want_ to feel, and I sure as hell don't feel like I wanna go with that stupid girl and her stupid cross-dressing friends.  Shit.  _

_You're afraid, _it accused suddenly, _aren'tcha, Gen-chan?  You're afraid that if you go with them, you're gonna hafta tell them about yourself, and then what the hell're you gonna do?  Wear a skirt?  Do your fuckin' nails?  Shit, you're scared as hell of that, aren't you?_

_Stupid fucking subconscious.  Who asked you._

"Oi, Genrou.  Ya there?"

I snapped out of it, realized I'd been standin' here with my mouth gaping open like some damned fish or somethin' for a lot longer than I shoulda been.  "Sorry," I mumbled, taking a few steps forward.  "I need ta think about this for awhile.  I'll see ya later."

"Don't forget," Kouji called after me, "we're takin' that girl an' her friends down to see Kashira in a couple hours."

"I'll be clean and fuckin' powder fresh," I called back.

A few minutes later, I was back inside, my shoulder blades pressed up against the door, my eyes closed.  Since it was so early, the place was pretty quiet, 'specially since mosta the guys'd been up half the night, anyway, throwin' some kinda damn celebration for Eiken finally bein' gone.  I prob'ley shoulda stopped by, said a couple words an' had some sake, but I really wasn't  fuckin' in the mood.  That stuff with Nuriko'd shook me up pretty badly--I mean, shit, ya don't go eight years with only one person in the whole damn place knowin' you're a girl and then not get freaked out when some guy shows up an' fuckin' knows about it a few hours later.  An', shit, what the hell kinda weird coincidence was that, him bein' a cross-dresser? 

_Suzaku's fuckin' with you again, Gen-chan.  Just like before._

"Yeah," I muttered.  "Just like fuckin' before."

I felt like moving, so I started walking.  I was pretty damn sure it was just aimless walking to blow off some steam, gimme a chance to think, but since I ended up right in front of Nuriko's door awhile later, I fuckin' guess not.  But, hey, I mean, it wasn't like I didn't have plenty of stuff to talk to him about--and, why not take the chance to make sure he wasn't gonna blab to anybody, right?  Shit, I was a seishi, too.  I could kick his ass if I had to, an' there was no harm in lettin' him know that, makin' sure he wasn't gonna spill to anybody.  

Nod.  Right.  

I wrapped my knuckles against the wood...and, only a couple seconds later, the door swung open.

Nuriko poked his head out, and I frowned.  "What the hell're you doin' up so early?  Don't you fuckin' people sleep?"

He looked a little confused for a second, then shrugged and opened the door the rest of the way.  The rooms we'd given them were pretty small, maybe as big as two good-sized closets mashed together, but this one still somehow managed to look comfy rather than cramped.  There was a cot in the corner, all tangled up in blankets, a desk and a mirror on the left, and a rickety little chair next to the window.  Nuriko'd piled up his stuff at the foot of the cot, so there was a lot more floor-space than there woulda been otherwise, and except for a hairbrush on the desk and a shrunken bar of soap on the window sill, the room was pretty much spotless.  

I stepped inside, waited while Nuriko closed the door.  

"Now," I said firmly, tryin' not to sound as weirdly-nervous as I felt, "I just wanted to talk to ya about the stuff that happened last night.  What you, uhh...saw.  I think we oughta get it straight right now that if ya ever breathe a fuckin' word to anyone, I'll..."  I raised a fist.  

Nuriko blinked.  "Why would I tell anyone?"

"I'm not sayin' ya would, exactly...just that ya better not, ya know?  I mean, 'cause if you did that to me, I wouldn't be all that careful with _your _secret, if ya get what I mean."

He leaned his back against the closed door, crossed his arms over his chest.  "Ano...Miaka and Hotohori-sama already know about me."  He smirked.  "So do most of your bandits."

I don't fuckin' think I surprise all that easily, but that surprised me.  "They know?" I managed.  My mouth was dry all of a sudden, and it felt like my stomach was twistin' around inside of me.  "They fucking know?  And...and, they don't care??"

Nuriko shrugged, blushed a little.  "They were a little surprised, of course...but, they don't treat me any differently because of it."  His eyes suddenly locked onto mine, an' as much as I wanted to, I couldn't look away.  "Because, I'm still me, no matter what clothes I'm wearing.  Nee?"

I frowned.  "Guess so.  But, it's still fuckin' weird.  I mean, if somebody I thought was one thing turned out to be somethin' else all of a sudden, I'd be pretty pissed off at 'em."

"Ne, but your friend Kouji knows, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but Kouji's different.  He's been my fuckin' best friend since we were little kids.  But, uhh..."  I studied him for a second, wondering if I should risk asking...  Eh, why not.  Not like I fuckin' had somethin' to be scared of.  "How'd they find out about you, anyway?" I asked.  "I mean...you didn't just _tell_ 'em, did ya?"

Nuriko smiled softly.  "Iie.  Miaka was...a little too rough on my dress.  After that, there wasn't much point in hiding what I was from her.  As for the others..."  Something like a shadow fell over his face.  "Miaka told them."

My eyes went wide.  "She fuckin' _told_ them!  Fuckin' no!  What the hell kinda Miko--"

"Iie, iie," Nuriko interjected.  "Daijobu.  It wasn't her fault."

"How the hell could it not be her fault if she fuckin' _told_ them that you--"

"Ne, Genrou..."

I blinked, realized that I was shouting and shut my mouth.  I closed my eyes, sighed, and smacked a hand against my forehead.  "Sorry," I mumbled.  "Guess it just pisses me off.  Fuckin' think the Suzaku no Miko's gonna be somebody _smarter_'n that."

"It's all right," Nuriko said quietly.  "I wasn't too happy about it, either, after it happened.  But, ne, it had to happen sometime.  You can only hide for so long."

Shit.  He didn't really believe that, did he?  I mean, just 'cause it fuckin' happened to him didn't mean it was gonna happen to me.  Gods, you don't spent eight years like this and then just slip up--eight years!  Fuckin' eight years!!

"How long were you, ahhh..."  I frowned.  "Err, how long was it before--"

"I was ten years old," Nuriko answered softly.  I wasn't looking at him, since I was pretty damn busy starin' at the wall, but it sounded almost like sayin' that tiny little sentence hurt 'im somehow.  I wanted to ask him why he'd started, I guess--I mean, there had to be some kinda reason, right?  But...for some reason, I couldn't get myself to say it, so instead, I just shrugged.

"Well, I've been doin' this since I was nine years old, and fuckin' nobody except for Kouji's ever found out about it.  Well--" My voice dropped.  "'Cept for you, anyway."

"Stay away from Miaka, then," he warned in a soft voice.  "She's got a sixth sense for secrets."

_That goofy girl and her friends can give that to you.  I can't._

"Great," I muttered.  "Fuckin' great."

~*~

They left in the morning, after one of the guys started blabbin' about that healer up in Choko.  And, damn it, I was _glad_ to see 'em go.  Hear that, fuckin' subconscious?  _Glad._  Of course, I prob'ley wouldn't'a minded if Nuriko'd hung around a little longer, if only so I could keep an eye on 'im, ya know, make sure he wasn't gonna tell anybody, but that bubbly girl and that stuck-up Hotohori guy--damn, I was glad to see 'em gone.  Fuckin' who needed 'em.  Gah.  Don't see why anybody'd wanna go anywhere with them.  Fuckin' no way.  I wouldn't'a gone with 'em if they'd _begged_ me to--fuckin' if they'd _paid_ me, I still wouldn't'a gone.  Shit.

So, why the hell was I so miserable, now??

Kouji laughed at me when I told 'im--great fuckin' friend that jerk was.  Stopped me before I could storm outta the room, though, and quit snickering for long enough to say, "Shit, Genrou, I'm not laughin' 'cause I think you're dumb or somethin', I'm laughin' because I fuckin' _knew _this was gonna happen."  He sobered a little, then, looked me straight in the eye so it was hard to break away.  "Look, seriously--you know you've been dyin' to go with 'em ever since they got here.  An', it's not your fault.  It's 'cause'a _that _thing."  He jabbed a finger at my forearm, at the spot that we'd both seen glowing like a goddamn flame more'n once after a fight.  "Suzaku's callin' ya, Genrou.  He wants ya to go with 'em almost as much as you wanna go with 'em yourself.  An', shit, man."  He grinned.  "With that fuckin' tessen in your hands, who the hell's gonna mess with you, even if ya are a girl?"

I grinned a little, smacked him on the back o'the head and sent him flyin' forward.  "I ain't no fuckin' girl," I snarled, still grinning.  "I'm fuckin' Tasuki, and don't you forget it."  
  


After he picked himself up off the floor, Kouji stared at me in silence for a couple seconds, and it was weird, but it looked almost like there were tears in his eyes.  I mean, that was impossible, of course--not _Kouji_, for gods' sakes--so I guess it was just some weird trick o'the lighting or somethin'.  In fact, now that I thought about it, things _were _lookin' kinda wavery, and so I guess maybe the lighting was gettin' to me, too.  Anyway, since I wasn't gonna be seein' him for a long time and since I was feelin' kinda weird all of a sudden, like there was something heavy trampin' on the back of my throat, I walked over to 'im and shook his hand, but somehow I must'a misjudged the distance or somethin' 'cause I kinda fell into him, and he caught me, and--

Okay, shit.  I hugged him.  Okay??  It didn't fuckin' mean anything.  He's my best fuckin' friend and I wanted to hug him, so I did.  And, that's _all_ that fuckin' happened.  Geez.  

I left a couple hours later, after packin' up enough rations and clothes to keep me warm and fed until I got to Choko, an' the guys were there to see me off.  I guess it'd kinda surprised 'em, me leavin' so soon after comin' back--and, so soon after becomin' leader, too--but, they didn't seem to have any hard feelings.  Kouji--who, of course, was the leader, now--let 'em know about the Tasuki stuff, though, and how I really didn't have much choice, and after that, I was _sure_ there were no hard feelings.  

"Fuckin' tear Seiryuu a new one!" one o'the guys shouted after me.

I turned around, gave 'em all a really lame thumbs up, and then started off down the road.  It was gonna be a pretty long fuckin' journey, and I didn't have any sorcery tricks to call on this time if I got in a jam.  But...  I grinned, patted at the metal fan stickin' up outta my belt.  But, I had my tessen.  _My_ tessen.  

Watch out, you bastards.  This girl's got _fire_.

~*~

---

AN:  Woo!  Chapter two wa dekimashita!  (1) Arrigato to Mouse-chan, for reading through this and subsequently glomping Nuriko.  After all those threats from Gen-chan, he needed it. --;;  (2)  Thanks, also, to everyone who's reviewed so far, and who will review in the future.  I really didn't think this story would be reviewed all that well, particularly since Tasuki is, perhaps, the one character in all of Fushigi Yuugi whom I relate to the least.  But, ne, arrigato! :)  Also, many thanks to 7:30 AM, which has given me the almighty power of writing with peace, enthusiasm, and caffeine.  ^_^.

**Glossary:**  _kagami:  _mirror |  _jinsei:  _life; humanity |  _no:_  [possessive particle]  |  _iie_:  no  |  _daijobu:  _it's all right  |  _The F*ck Count:  _55.  O.O!


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